So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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