Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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