I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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