I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
