i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
