so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
