I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
