K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
