What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
