So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
