I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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