Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
