brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
