I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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