i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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