You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
