can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
