Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
