Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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