You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
