Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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