i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
