Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
