Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
