Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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