mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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