I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
