I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
