TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
