I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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