I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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