I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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