i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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