I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
wow bdsm is so cute
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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