I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
