I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
