Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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