are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
