There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
