I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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