I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
