People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am naked and annoyed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
