apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
