Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
