I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
