Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
