I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Are we still banned from the library?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
