We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
