I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
