Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
