He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
