i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
