Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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