she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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