I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
