Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
