We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
