No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
