I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
