I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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