Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
